“god i wish that were me” except his eyes are glowing with unimaginable power and he says “god wishes he were me”
(Source: w3k)
(Source: aku-no-homu)
(Source: samcannon)
I’m watching a documentary on Netflix about animals getting prosthetics and this vet just hand sculpted a prosthetic beak for an injured swan and the very first thing it did was use its new beak to bite someone
that is very on-brand for swans
(via poryqon)
I hate when people ask me “what did you do today?” like buddy listen I woke up at noon and then it was five pm okay I don’t kn o w
(via allscars)
i told a lady i really liked ghosts and she said “are you being serious or are you just saying that in case one is listening”
(via allscars)
john mulaney and linda from bobs burgers have the same aura
Linda, drunk off her head: my husband is a bitch i like him SO MUCH
(via lesbianrrey)
ME
rich white people are giving themselves drugs the same fucking way i give my dogs their medication
I hate to admit this but this is peak college-era me
is it wrong to say i’m not at all surprised